Ya'll all know I recently got to spend time with my darling Bee in Shanghai, and we got straight into our habit of jiving, throwing random ideas and shit-talking to each other. One hungover morning (who am I kidding, it was surely mid-afternoon) she said "Yes, I need some Pocari Sweat, Jacqui, you surely need some delicious delcious Pocari Sweat?" I looked at her in surprise, and at the smirk on her face. And then, it alllll came back to me.
Bee has been giving me shit about my Pocari Sweat hatred for years... It all started a long time in South Korea and continued when we were in Istanbul. As the week continued, it became apparent that there are many things I loathe, which Bee, of course, loved poking fun at me for. So, here is a Top 5 list of things I cannot stand, starting with things I'll tolerate all the way up to things I'll punch people in the face for.
# 5: Nicki Minaj
I put Ms Minaj at number five cos I, obviously, don't know her as a person and she may be very nice, so I cannot hate her. I doubt I could honestly hate any person, but I just don't like her music. I don't like the way people think she is innovative or doing something different. I don't like the fact she seems to have to be either a sexpot or a comical manga character to sell her music. She is, like many others, an emblem of how commercialized and downright horrid the popular music industry has become. There are better female rappers, and there always have been.
# 4: Capers
Too much salt! Capers ruin everything. EVERYTHING!
Why can't they have a more subtle flavor? Ugh. They are like a person at a party that dominates the whole room with their nonsense instead of letting everyone blend together nicely. They are like what I imagine Nicki Minaj would be at a party, 'cept they are an inanimate object so I can loathe them more than I can loathe her without feeling guilty. Simmer down capers! You be too dominant for me!
# 3: Red Bean Paste
My hatred for Red Bean Paste is personal. I feel it has wronged me on so many occasions. So many times I've been in Chinatown, Ulsan or Hanoi (but by Hanoi I knew about the tricksy-ness of Red Bean) and thought 'Hmm, I think I'll buy this bun with the chocolate filling. That looks good.'
No. No chocolate melting in my mouth. Just this filth!
If I had been expecting it, it probably wouldn't have been so bad, but when you expect a delicious, nutella filled bun and get red bean instead... it's just too much! And it's happened more than once! No. I can't forgive. Too much pain. Then there are the times you get given mooncakes (or whatever the Korean equivalent is?) by your cute little 10 year old students who smile as you eat it, nodding their cute pig-tails and asking if you like it with their big innocent doe eyes... and you want to yell 'NO! This is the devil's work!' but instead you eat it and smile and try to go to a happy place. Curse you Red Bean, you've caused me too much pain!
# 2 Pocari Sweat
I also have actually tried it, so don't get all 'Jacqui you should try it before you judge.' It tastes like salt. Salt water. Drinking salt water with a tiny bit of sugar. YUK. I understand that is a good drink to rehydrate you, but there are so many other drinks that do that, why drink satan's drink? UGH. I HATE it.
# 1 Religious Fundamentalism
Don't get me wrong, I am fine with religious people, and fine with people who believe in God, any god, all the gods! But I am not fine with people pushing their religious ideals on others, and pushing hatred through doctrines that are outdated and irrelevant. This says it so much better than I ever could.
So, now you know 5 things I cannot stand... and finished it with a rant on this rainy Friday.